I heard about this man who invited a friend to come over to eat dinner with he and his family after work. They were in the construction business together and both had a very long, tough day. Their equipment hadn't worked right, and his friend had pulled up too far at the job site, ran over some nails and ruined two of his tires. It was just one of those days; nothing had gone right.
As they were driving back to his house, the man just sat there silently. His friend knew that he had had enough. He was really frustrated. But when he got home, he did something rather unusual. By his back door, there was this small tree. Before he went inside, he stopped and rubbed both hands on the tree leaves. When he went in the door, the friend said the most amazing transformation took place. The man had a smile on his face. His little kids ran up, and he hugged them and swung them around. He went over and kissed his wife. His friend couldn't believe the change and was just amazed. A little later, he pulled him aside and said, "I don't mean to be nosy, but what was it about that tree that put you in such a good mood?" The man kind of laughed and he said, "Oh, that's what I call my trouble tree. I know I can't avoid having troubles and difficulties during the day. But one thing for sure, I know those troubles don't belong inside my home. So every evening when I get home, I just symbolically hang my troubles up on that tree, and I trust God to take care of them." He went on to say, "The most amazing thing always happens. The next morning when I come out, there are never as many troubles as I had the night before."
It would do us all good to have one of those trees. You have a tough day at the office; somebody didn't treat you right; you get stuck in traffic. Don't take it inside; leave it on your tree. Leave it outside the home.
It's important to understand that whenever we let outside circumstances affect how we treat our family members and what goes on within the four walls of our home, we are allowing our home to be built on unstable ground. And being stable ought to be one of our main goals in life.
A stable person is not hard to get along with. A stable person doesn't take out his problems on somebody else. A stable person doesn't come home from work all upset and stressed out to where they can't relate with the family and nobody wants to be around them. No, a stable person checks it at the office door before they leave. They are the same day in and day out. They have a good attitude when they get their way and when they don't get their way. They have a smile on their face when it's sunny and when it's raining. They're consistent.
We've all had times when somebody walked into the room, you could feel the tension. They brought it with them. Don't live your life like that. Be disciplined in what you think about so you won't go around dwelling on your problems, what didn't work out and who hurt you. The fact is every one of us has problems and negative things. If we don't learn to shake it off, it's not only going to drag us down, it drags the people around us down.
After all, being up and down is not fair to your relationships. It's very difficult to live with a moody person. If you're all over the board, up one day and down the next, and others have to guess what you're going to be like and live on pins and needles around you, then it's time to come up higher. Learn to let things go and leave your troubles at the door. Don't come home and take out all your aggravation on your spouse or children. Do your part to keep a peaceful atmosphere in your home. And really, when you get home, your family should be happy to see you, and not say, "Oh no, dad's home. I wonder what he's going to be like." "Oh no, here comes mom. We'd better watch out."
There are times when I feel myself getting upset and stressed. If I don't catch myself and say, "I don't have to live this way. I don't have to carry this burden. I need to let it go and enjoy my life" and make adjustments, I can see it affecting our whole household. We even teach this principle to our children. "Hey, don't bring a bad attitude from school. Leave it there."
I love what the scripture says in Jeremiah 17:7-8, "Blessed is the man who makes the Lord His hope and confidence." One translation says, "Blessed is the man who is steadfast and immovable. He will be like a tree planted by the riverbanks with its roots reaching deep down into the water. It's a tree not bothered by the heat nor worried by long months of drought. Its leaves stay green and it goes on producing luscious fruit." Notice, God is saying here that if we will just be stable, if we will consistently stay in faith and have a good attitude; then even in the difficult times, it's not going to affect us. Because we are steadfast and immovable, we will continue to prosper in spite of our obstacles. We will continue to see God's goodness in spite of negative circumstances. But the key is we have to be stable. And we should not only be stable for the sake of our own peace, but for our family's sake because whether we realize it or not, our attitudes rub off on the people around us.
I encourage you to make it a daily goal to be consistent and stable in your mood. There are days where you may struggle a little, but the important thing is to receive God's mercy and grace and keep moving forward. God's mercies are new every day. Go back to that trouble tree and rub your hands and say, "God, I'm giving this to you" and leave the troubles outside of your home. As you do, you will find you enjoy your relationships more and the peace, love and joy of God will rest in your homes.
JOEL OSTEEN
Joel Osteen is pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas – a vibrant and diverse church that Forbes calls the largest and fastest-growing congregation in America. Joel shares a positive message of hope and encouragement that extends all around the world. This message reaches all across America and 100 nations of the world. Joel's books, Your Best Life Now and Become a Better You, quickly became #1 New York Times Bestsellers and are distributed worldwide in several languages.