When I was a child, I remember learning about the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Golden Rule is still a great place to begin in our relationships. I recently read a children's book that put a new twist on the old adage. The premise of the story was that we each carry an invisible bucket - yes, we all have one! It's an emotional bucket. When your bucket is full, you feel happy, satisfied, and encouraged; when your bucket is empty, you feel down and discouraged. In this world, there are "bucket fillers" and "bucket dippers". A bucket filler is a person who adds to other people by encouraging and investing in them with kind words and actions. When bucket fillers are investing in others, they find that their buckets are filled up, too. Bucket dippers, on the other hand, are those who take away from people by using harsh or negative words. They not only deplete other people's buckets, but also diminish the contents of their own.
God intends for us to be bucket fillers, using our lives and resources to help people be the very best they can be. I think about Peter, one of the disciples of Jesus. He was impulsive; he said things he shouldn't have, and he needed to grow in a lot of areas. Despite Peter's personality drawbacks, Jesus referred to him in surprisingly positive terms. He said, "Peter, you are a rock." Simon Peter's very nature meant "pebble," and I wonder if he felt like a tiny pebble at times, especially after some of his foolish blunders. Nevertheless, Jesus reminded Peter of what he was becoming - a solid, stable rock. He spoke potential and confidence into Peter's life, and we should follow that example in our relationships.
The Scripture tells us to "encourage one another daily." I truly believe encouragement is one of the best gifts we can give other people. Whether you are a natural encourager or you feel a bit uncomfortable giving compliments, you possess a unique ability to make others feel better about themselves. The truth is, we all have different personalities and different ways of relating to one another, but we can all become great encouragers.
Throughout the day, we have opportunities to get discouraged. We face difficulties; plans don't always work out; and life has a way of stealing our joy. That's why we need to get in the habit of encouraging one another daily. Every one of us needs his or her emotional bucket to be filled up and refilled on a regular basis. A simple compliment or a kind word can make someone's day!
Not only do positive words lift up others, but I've found that encouraging words are the glue that holds our relationships together. Looking back over the last twenty-one years in my marriage, I can see how positive words and regular affirmations have bonded Joel's and my heart together and caused us to bring out the best in each other. We've learned the importance of encouraging each other daily - not just through our words, but through simple acts of kindness and finding ways to make life easier for each other. You can do the same in your relationships, and I believe it will improve the atmosphere of your household, your workplace, your community, and your world. Sure, it takes effort to be a great encourager, but when you take time to encourage someone, that investment will eventually yield a good return. When you bring out the best in others and help them succeed, that success will come back to you and cause you to rise higher, as well.
Let's be bucket fillers, not bucket dippers. Let's not remind the people in our lives of their failures and faults; instead, let's see the solid rock in them and speak positively about what they are becoming. Start encouraging someone today with your words and actions, and you, too, can rise to new levels. When you fill the emotional buckets of others, God will make sure your bucket is filled.
VICTORIA OSTEEN
A life-long Houstonian, Victoria began her career in her family's business. Now as a supportive wife, mother of two children and a co-pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, TX, Victoria is an inspiration and mentor to women everywhere. She is committed to helping women, children and families discover their purpose and reach their highest potential in Christ.