Early in my marriage, I wasn't careful to weigh my words with Joel. I was used to doing things the way I wanted them done, and I thought he should get with the program. I wasn't speaking to him the gracious words that I wanted him to speak to me. I'll never forget how God spoke to me one day and said, "Victoria, if you don't begin to choose your words wisely, you're going to be sorry." He basically said to me, "Your own words are going to work against you." It brought tears to my eyes, and I realized just how serious this matter was. I had to focus on the grace I should be extending to Joel with my words.

Sometimes we just throw caution to the wind with our words, not thinking they're going to return to us. But what you say to and about others is going to affect you. The writer of Proverbs says we are going to eat from the fruit of our lips. We need to carefully choose the words we speak to others, because the truth is that we are going to be a product of what we say.

My question to you is, are you a person who is making positive deposits of kindness and compassion in other people's lives, someone who is adding value to their lives? Or are you someone who is making withdrawals from other people's emotional banks, someone who is depleting the value of their lives through criticism and negativity? Do you have a building mentality, someone who is using your words and actions to have a positive influence on the lives around you?

We need to realize that as daughters and sons of the living God, we are builders of people and the kingdom of God. We are intended to create with our words. The apostle Paul says, "Never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them" (Ephesians 4:29). Not only can you build people up with your words, but you can find the best in them and bring it out of them. Your words can be the glue that holds your relationships together when you speak positive, faith-filled words to others.

It's easy to see what's wrong with others, and it's easy to cut people down and be at odds with them. But it takes a builder to see what's right and to know how to help them. You can make a difference in the lives of the people around you by making grace-filled deposits into their accounts. Be a builder today.