Faith is Here and Now

When I received the news of a diagnosis that required surgery along with the outcome of most likely never being able to sing again due to vocal chord paralysis, it was a devastating blow. I’m a worship leader. I’ve been singing since I was three years old, traveling all over the world with my brother, Steve Crawford. And most recently to the news, I had started my new job alongside Steve as Lakewood’s new worship leaders.

This was my dream, my gifting, my anointing and calling. Like most people’s initial reaction to such news, I felt frazzled, but I knew that didn’t move the hand of God; faith does.

Undergoing surgery wasn’t an option; my very life was in danger. However, taking the doctor’s report, “You will never be able to sing again” wasn’t an option, either. I knew my God was able.

But I also knew I had to have a plan of action supporting my faith. Yes, I knew I would need faith after my surgery, but I needed faith, here and now, before I ever went into surgery.

After the news, I went home and prayed to God, “Lord, I need somebody” and immediately did my research on the internet. The Lord led me to the right man. I found a doctor who created a process to reverse vocal chord paralysis. I knew immediately that was my guy.

I knew I had to replace the fears and speak, 'I will sing for You'

My next plan included devising an action plan for victory. I knew the enemy was going to fight me hard when I couldn’t sing physically. I knew I would have those thoughts of defeat and questioning, “Why is my dream being taken away? I thought this is what God called me to do.” I knew I would have to do what the Bible says and cast them down immediately and not dwell on them.

I knew I had to replace the fears and speak, “I will sing for You. I will be able to do everything that You have assigned for me to do in my life.” And that’s what I did.

God doesn’t just bring us out like we were, He makes us stronger, better off than we were before. You see, the doctors told me with a big “IF”, “If you ever sing again...if...it will take a year or two” because my music memory was completely deleted from surgery. In a singer’s brain, our music memory is like a computer’s hard-drive. It’s filled with all the years of files containing the training, practicing, and developing of my voice. When we think a pitch, a phrase, or an interval, our brain sends the information to our vocal chords, and we’re able to hit that note.

I had been singing since I was three, and now I had to learn it all over again. But God showed Himself strong and mighty in my life. Do you know I was singing in two months? In six months, I had my full range back, and now I’m singing higher and lower than I ever have before.

I didn’t give up because it got so discouraging and difficult at times. I didn’t give up because it seemed like my dream was being taken away. Faith is always trusting God even when you don’t understand it.

Remember to hold fast the profession of your faith in your heart. If God did it for me, He’ll do it for you. He is no respecter of persons. Keep going, keep believing, and watch God’s deliverance in your own life!