Working Toward Unity
Relationships are all about learning. In marriage, we are learning to become one; in families, we are learning to get along; in business, we are learning to work together; in friendships, we are learning to make allowances for one another. Life is a learning process, and the quicker you embrace that fact, the more you'll enjoy the people around you.
Over the years, I've learned that Joel doesn't like hearing every single detail of a story, even though I do. I want to know exactly what was said, who said it, and how they said it. That's why, when I tell a story, it takes me fifteen minutes, and Joel can tell that same story in about two minutes flat! Knowing this, I try not to tell him every single detail—although it's not always that easy.
One time, I was enthusiastically telling Joel something that I thought was important, and just as I was getting to the good part, I noticed his eyes were beginning to glaze over. I began talking faster and faster, but it didn't do any good. Finally, I said, "You don't want to hear this, do you? I can tell because you are not even paying attention to me."
It wasn't anything he said; it was the way he looked. I could tell by his body language that I had lost him after the first three minutes. In that moment, I could have either allowed myself to get upset and frustrated, or I could make a few adjustments in the way I communicate with him.
I chose what was best for our relationship which was to adapt my communication style. Now I try to tell him only the most important details of the story. When I see his eyes glazing over, I don't get upset. It's just my cue that he is going into "detail overload," so I adjust to make it easier for him to receive.
As you think about the people in your life, remember to respect and appreciate your differences. Don't hold offense just because someone has a different approach than you do. Be willing to make adjustments and focus on the common ground of peace. As you work toward unity, you are positioning yourself to receive the wonderful blessings God has in store for you.
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity… for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. (Psalm 133:1-3, NIV)
Over the years, I've learned that Joel doesn't like hearing every single detail of a story, even though I do. I want to know exactly what was said, who said it, and how they said it. That's why, when I tell a story, it takes me fifteen minutes, and Joel can tell that same story in about two minutes flat! Knowing this, I try not to tell him every single detail—although it's not always that easy.
One time, I was enthusiastically telling Joel something that I thought was important, and just as I was getting to the good part, I noticed his eyes were beginning to glaze over. I began talking faster and faster, but it didn't do any good. Finally, I said, "You don't want to hear this, do you? I can tell because you are not even paying attention to me."
It wasn't anything he said; it was the way he looked. I could tell by his body language that I had lost him after the first three minutes. In that moment, I could have either allowed myself to get upset and frustrated, or I could make a few adjustments in the way I communicate with him.
I chose what was best for our relationship which was to adapt my communication style. Now I try to tell him only the most important details of the story. When I see his eyes glazing over, I don't get upset. It's just my cue that he is going into "detail overload," so I adjust to make it easier for him to receive.
As you think about the people in your life, remember to respect and appreciate your differences. Don't hold offense just because someone has a different approach than you do. Be willing to make adjustments and focus on the common ground of peace. As you work toward unity, you are positioning yourself to receive the wonderful blessings God has in store for you.
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity… for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. (Psalm 133:1-3, NIV)