He Said She Said
Relationships are all about learning. In marriage we are learning to become one; in families we are learning to get along; in business we are learning to work together; in friendship we are learning to make allowances for one another. Life is a learning process, and the quicker you embrace that fact, the more you’ll enjoy the people around you.
Over the years, I’ve learned that Joel doesn’t like hearing every single detail of a story, even though I do. I want to know exactly what was said, who said it, and how they said it. That’s why, when I tell a story, it takes me fifteen minutes, and Joel can tell that same story in about two minutes! Knowing this, I try not to tell him every detail, although it’s not always that easy.
One time, I was enthusiastically telling Joel something that I thought was important, and just as I was getting to the good part, I noticed his eyes beginning to glaze over. I began talking faster and faster, but it didn’t do any good. Finally I said, “You don’t want to hear this; I can tell because you are not even paying attention to me.”
It wasn’t anything he said; it was how he looked. I could tell by his body language that I had lost him after the first three minutes. I could have either allowed myself to get upset and frustrated, or I could just make a few adjustments in the way I communicate with him.
Now I try to tell him only the most important details of the story. When I see his eyes glazing over, I don’t get upset. It’s just my cue that he is going into “detail overload,” so I adapt to his communication style.
As you think about the people in your life, remember to respect and appreciate your differences. Don’t hold offense just because someone has a different approach than you do. Be willing to make adjustments and focus on the common ground of peace. As you work towards unity, you are positioning yourself to receive the wonderful blessings God has in store for you.
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!… for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore (Psalm 133:1-3, NIV).
Over the years, I’ve learned that Joel doesn’t like hearing every single detail of a story, even though I do. I want to know exactly what was said, who said it, and how they said it. That’s why, when I tell a story, it takes me fifteen minutes, and Joel can tell that same story in about two minutes! Knowing this, I try not to tell him every detail, although it’s not always that easy.
One time, I was enthusiastically telling Joel something that I thought was important, and just as I was getting to the good part, I noticed his eyes beginning to glaze over. I began talking faster and faster, but it didn’t do any good. Finally I said, “You don’t want to hear this; I can tell because you are not even paying attention to me.”
It wasn’t anything he said; it was how he looked. I could tell by his body language that I had lost him after the first three minutes. I could have either allowed myself to get upset and frustrated, or I could just make a few adjustments in the way I communicate with him.
Now I try to tell him only the most important details of the story. When I see his eyes glazing over, I don’t get upset. It’s just my cue that he is going into “detail overload,” so I adapt to his communication style.
As you think about the people in your life, remember to respect and appreciate your differences. Don’t hold offense just because someone has a different approach than you do. Be willing to make adjustments and focus on the common ground of peace. As you work towards unity, you are positioning yourself to receive the wonderful blessings God has in store for you.
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!… for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore (Psalm 133:1-3, NIV).