The Price Is Way Too High
It's interesting that in so many of our relationships, whether with our spouses and children, coworkers, or business partners, we begin with the same goals. We want to love each other, to raise great kids, and to be successful. But sooner or later, we get in conflict because we differ in our personalities and perspectives. We so want to have our own way and win. We have to be the right one. Too often we fail to ask ourselves whether it's worth the toll that it takes on our marriage, our children, or our job.
I talked with a beautiful young woman who told me, "I have a really strong personality, and I get such a great feeling to be the right one and win arguments." Then she paused. "But I'm realizing it's slowly ruining my marriage and negatively changing the atmosphere in our home." She was fortunate to realize this when she did. If you have to win every argument, you'll devastate your spouse. If you have to be right all the time, you're making others, including your children, feel wrong. It's too costly.
The apostle Paul has a word for all of us today: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18). He also says, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3). If we're going to achieve unity, we have to take the initiative to do what it takes to make the peace. We have to learn how to reconcile our differences and honor God. It's about unity, and the only way we're going to find unity is through the bonds of peace. Unity doesn't mean we're all going to agree on everything. We have different opinions and different ways of doing things. So we have to learn the way of peace that's going to bind us together.
When you know that you're about to have a difficult conversation, you have the ability to draw the line in the sand and say, "I'm not going to step over this line into strife and division. I'm going to make peace." Sometimes during a conversation you have to say, "God, it doesn't have to go my way, and I can let them be right. There are more ways than just my way. This isn't the way I would do it, but I'm going to zip it up, because I'm going to keep the unity through the bond of peace. I'm not going to fight for my way. I leave this in Your hands." That peace will bind us together.
I talked with a beautiful young woman who told me, "I have a really strong personality, and I get such a great feeling to be the right one and win arguments." Then she paused. "But I'm realizing it's slowly ruining my marriage and negatively changing the atmosphere in our home." She was fortunate to realize this when she did. If you have to win every argument, you'll devastate your spouse. If you have to be right all the time, you're making others, including your children, feel wrong. It's too costly.
The apostle Paul has a word for all of us today: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18). He also says, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3). If we're going to achieve unity, we have to take the initiative to do what it takes to make the peace. We have to learn how to reconcile our differences and honor God. It's about unity, and the only way we're going to find unity is through the bonds of peace. Unity doesn't mean we're all going to agree on everything. We have different opinions and different ways of doing things. So we have to learn the way of peace that's going to bind us together.
When you know that you're about to have a difficult conversation, you have the ability to draw the line in the sand and say, "I'm not going to step over this line into strife and division. I'm going to make peace." Sometimes during a conversation you have to say, "God, it doesn't have to go my way, and I can let them be right. There are more ways than just my way. This isn't the way I would do it, but I'm going to zip it up, because I'm going to keep the unity through the bond of peace. I'm not going to fight for my way. I leave this in Your hands." That peace will bind us together.