I think we all want to love well, to be kind and giving, but how do you love at all when somebody says something about you that isn’t true or a friend walks away from your relationship? How do you love when a coworker does things to keep you from a promotion or a relative shares with other family members what you told them that was confidential. Jesus says, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:27--28). But how do you do that when it's easy to get bitter, hold a grudge, talk badly about them, and think about how you can get even with them?
In reality, the only way we can walk in love is to first allow the love of God into our lives. We may try to love, but we don’t have the capacity to love on our own. It's like trying to pour out water from an empty glass. Jesus made this clear in His answer to the Pharisees' question: "What's the greatest commandment in the law of Moses?" Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind...And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself'" (Matthew 22:37--39). The Pharisees thought that if they could keep this law, they would be right with God. But Jesus was saying, "You can't keep the law. You need a Savior, which is why I'm here--to make it possible to keep a continual flow of love coming into your life." Jesus is the only source of love that never runs dry. The Bible says, "God is love." When you come to Him, you're coming to divine love. When you receive His love, your capacity to love will be full.
If we want to love well, it is all sourced from God. That's why we need to let God transform us. We have to let go of the hurts and offenses done to us and live out of a place of forgiveness, out of a place of wholeness and healing. We need to let the foundation of God's love be built into our lives so there is a well of continuous love that can flow out of us. His love isn't dependent upon how others treat us, but is only dependent upon our connection to the One who is love. We aren't superficial in our love because His love runs deep. Every day we fill our lives with the living love that enables us to love the people around us, even when love is not being returned to us.
"We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).